split w/ Death Sex Advocates

by Monitor Lizard

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released September 19, 2015

Recorded and mixed by John Hoffman and Jerry Westerkamp in Latonia, KY. Available on CD September 19th.

LP out this winter on Realicide Youth Records.



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Monitor Lizard Cincinnati, Ohio


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Track Name: Informant
I got a job at the NSA
Secret meetings with the FBI
Takin' notes about the calls you’ve made
Implant your brain with a trackin device

I’m with the NSA
I’m with the FBI
Everything you do
I’m keepin' tabs, that’s right!
Track Name: Pushed Aside
Pushed aside, pushed aside, pushed aside
Passed up, pushed aside, left behind

Can’t get a decent job,
Bleedin' on the sidewalk
Ambulance truck
Just passes me by!

Pushed aside, pushed aside, pushed aside
Passed up, pushed aside, left behind

Need EBT?
You stand in line
Jump through hoops
Get pushed aside.
Track Name: Con Man
Politicians grit their teeth
About dealers, nosebleeds
What’s good in your gated neighborhood?
You don’t know shit
About poverty or fiends,
Crushed pills on the dash...

Bill, you gotta ditch the kid at this Indiana truck stop
Cornfields, White Castle scraps on the asphalt
I’m pissed off
Rollin' up dope in the bathroom stall

Fucked since day one, now I’m 28
Still got that bastard rage
Pop a pill, all I see is a
Wad of money
Bum on the street
Sleazy swami
Predator, priest

I ran to the church
Goin' berserk
Confessin' my sins
Aint to late to convert
Read a book
Now I’m fuckin cured!
2 weeks later ended up in a psych ward...

Don’t you know who the fuck I am?
Holy cow turns to holy ash
Aint your friend, I’m a confidence man
Can’t sleep, can’t eat
Shave my head for a false belief
Left with a void – no feeling.
Track Name: Piss Test
Back in Chennai cops would confiscate my doja
Aint get a bite cuz monkeys nabbin' at my dosa
Can’t keep me down though, man – I’m Michael fuckin' Jordan
I’m so ill

Terrific scientist or scientific terrorist?
Sometimes you fuckboys ask a lot of stupid questions
Like, "Where you work at, Seven Eleven?"
…Nah man.
I’m so ill
I’m so illegal…

Some fuck
Called me Aziz
Dude, I aint that guy on TV

This job
Fuckin' sucks
Blunts to the head then I piss in a cup

Deport my ass now I’m fuckin' crammed
Six Brahmins in a tuk tuk

So what?
I’m uncut
You got jokes, bro? Shut the fuck up

No S.P.F.
At the beach,
Just four doses of a rabies vaccine

Stray dogs always on my ass…
Fail a piss test – you’re fuckin' canned!
You’re fuckin' canned.
Track Name: Parasite
Sunday I went to buy a gram
Monday I passed out at the lab

You couldn’t catch me on the street without a bag of reefer
Eat from the hand that wipes your ass – that’s typhoid fever

Wednesday I went to grab a bite
Next day I had a parasite…
Track Name: Deadbeat
Maxed out her credit
Gas and electric on sudden death
At our one room flat
Workin' 12 hour shifts just to pick up the slack

DEADBEAT – motherfucker’s M.I.A.

Watchin' Friends re-runs at the Section 8

Cockroach infested
My head’s infested with nihilism
I wanna get out
So I’m hoppin' onto the 51 Crosstown

DEADBEAT – dude aint even got a job

Resin hits at the Taco Bell parkin' lot...

I got broken teeth and my head’s fuckin' split
But you sit on your ass, cash a government check

Track Name: Malaysian Airlines
I’m comin' down from this Hindu kush like Malaysian Airlines
Coochie on my mind
Ants in the jetti, itchin' at my nuts
Skippin' English class, cricket wit the cuz

Sick with typhoid
I’m all busted up
Hustlin' incense
Wreckin' on a speed bump

Europeans sittin' back, sippin' on Ceylon
Bamboo mat, that’s what I been sleepin' on
Wakin up at 3am, solvin' differentials
White man shudders cuz I’m playin' with chemicals

Everybody flockin' to see the Afro Baba
Everything’s for sale, Yoga is a cash crop
Government thugs huntin' Tigers in Sri Lanka
And bombs are goin' off!

Colonizer – you plant the seed
Now there’s no asylum for the refugees
From tea plantation to deportation
The war is “over” but the guns still blazin'...
Track Name: Shitty Cops
Detention, interrogation
Harassment – No explanation
Flash my badge and I walk away
With a bag of grass and handful of rupees

I bust you for nothin'
I bust you with weed
I bust your fuckin' head with a nightstick
Hands in cuffs – you’re fucked!

Fratboys and DAAP brats and future Y.P.’s
Are the only people you protect
Amped up and shootin' black kids at 2AM
How the fuck you get away with it?

Fuck. You. Shitty. Cop.
Cincinnati cops, Miami cops, Chennai cops
Can’t. Trust. Any. Cops.
Locked-up, got a case, I’m pissed
Cuz I don’t even know what the fuck I did!
Track Name: Frat Party Fuck Boiz
Me and Abhi crash your party
Drink all the beer in your fridge
Creep through the house to your bedroom
Take all your shit, smoke all your shit, wreck all your shit!

Can’t explain cuz I’m sick in the head
And I’m a bad motherfucker
Can’t explain and I don’t have to
I just do what I wanna

Quick everybody get the fuck out!
Here come the police
Call me a fag
As I slip out the back
With a Mac in my hand
Plus all your weed
And your car keys

My revenge!
Punx revenge.
Track Name: How Many
How many of us are crazy?
How many of us are broke?
How many of us get fuckin' rowdy?
How many?

No way
You can’t save
Me now
No hope
Just smoke
Weed now

Sick of livin' in poverty
I’m gonna freak out!
I’ve had enough…

How many in an asylum?
How many stuck in a rut?
How many of us get violent?
How many?

No way
You can’t save
Me now
No hope
No hope
No hope
Livin' and dyin' in poverty.
Track Name: Can't Look Back
"Kaapi, kaapi, masala chai..."
I’d rather hit the Indo
Crack a Miller High Life
Can’t make sense of this world
I’ve tried!
Why’s everybody so uptight?

“Take these eights, baby don’t late”
Runnin' barefoot, I missed my train
I’m higher than interest rates
at the payday loan place

Crazy fucks that call your ma nonstop
Can’t look back!
Cruisin' up the block with his headlights off
Can’t look back!
Fist fights, broken dishes, bad luck
Can’t look back!
That’s me knee deep in a flood
Makin' my way through the slums
I can’t look back…

I’ve got to send some money to my fam
Fuck silicon valley – that’s a corporate scam
My blood sugar’s crashin', I probably need a snack
Cuz bein' mad as fuck’s just a waste of my time, man
Maybe I’m better off makin' 6 clams a day
Buildin' statues in Dubai
Pickin' up scraps, scrubbin' windows at the traffic light

The way a Brahmin goin', goin' out like Veerappan
Turnt up, I don’t give a fuck!
Track Name: Severe House
Black out on Wheeler Street
Junkies break in and take Ryan’s TV,
PlayStation 3,
Wad of cash and my stash of weed plants

Pistol whipped
Some fuckin' kid
Snoopin’ for a bag
Or a way to get in

Bust open the cellar
Snuck in up the basement stairs
Beat that fuckin' redneck’s ass
And dragged his ass to an ATM

Been watchin' the flashlights
Flickerin' in the dark
Parked outside...
A getaway car!

Me and 10 Brahmins
Crammed in an apartment
This house is a target
I gotta run…
Bleached like a magazine – artificial white
Brown Basmati and I’m reppin' Chennai
Fairness cream is a Nazi sceme
Poisonin' your mind, mind, mind…

Call me at 513-BIN-LADN
I’m in the buildin' eatin' tikka masala
A lot of white girls try to holla
White dudes say I’m a spy, spy!

And now I know that Hell is real
No melanin – your skin is peeled

First grade I learned to microwave
Sleep next to a can of Raid

Bangin' on the door, landlord wants the rent
Fuckin' IRS… Where’s that refund check at?

I’m jackin' T.P. and a bag of rice
Hop on that Sleeper Class, I pay for shit with stamps
Another overdraft, I call check into cash
I’m resentful of everything you have
Walk home with a grocery bag
They run up on you 10 on 1

Fuck it man,
This Norwood basil’s got me lifted
Bitch I’m on a plane ridin' first class
But my name’s on a no-fly list
Sold some jizz, all my records and shit just to pay the heatin' bill
Kickin' it with the babes at Bessie Beach
Pissed on a statue of Gandhi and passed out
Now I’m cross-legged, prayin' cuz the goddamn neighbors got malaria...
Track Name: To The Wolves
Speed demon on a motorbike – get outta my way
I’m on that Hindu chronic and I’m swervin' through the lanes
Takin' what I want cuz this world’s a fuckin' waste
Cuz this world’s a fuckin' waste!

That set the minimum wage
Throw your ass in a cage
Dregs stuck at the bottom
Whores on top doublin' their profits

Thrown to the wolves, dressed in rags
Deadbeat dad, hands tied behind your back
The scumlord’s kids cracked your skull with a pipe
Workin' all night on an assembly line

I keep a cricket bat next to the bookcase
Lay in bed and wait
Another British Invader
Corporate slave trader!
Fightin' over water, sewage leaks
"Alright man, lets go eat baji"
(starvin' dogs
followin' me)
Dum and chai at a roadside shop
Fake passport I’m goin' to Dubai
(homeless kid
starin' at me
covered in dirt
beggin' for a rupee)
Track Name: Sick Problems
Sick problems
Pilin' up
I just can’t solve em
My mind’s so fucked!

Maxed out another credit card
Blacked out in the backyard
Aint takin' life too seriously

Shout out to interest and late fees
Bill collector, you can’t reach me
I’m off the motherfuckin' grid, my dude

At the embassy got pink-slipped
Pulled over, put on a watch-list
They got me under surveillance

Catch me do alotta stupid shit
Stuff up my pockets at Ameristop
Punch a frat boy in the head

That’s right, I got sick problems
Sick problems!